Sucky Screaming Saturn Missiles, or Why Things Aren't Nice In Old Detroit

Alackaday. No fireworks for me. There were a couple of lame Saturn missiles screaming from behind the bluff, behind the oil tanks, behind the place I work. I could see the sky being lit up from some magnificent fireworks display being held somewhere far away from me. I just ended up watching Robocop and talking about the end of the world with my Co-worker Harley. Are you allowed to call Co-workers friends if you met them at work? Maybe so, I feel like he’s my friend, he’s certainly the person I spend the most time with these days, which tells a lot about the state of my social life this summer.

I loaned my dad 650 dollars today, which was a very satisfying experience. My dad rides me about being “responsible,” and having a back up plan, and all of that grown up business. Who’s got no back up plan now dad?!?

I have been breaking out in hives for the past few days. I’m not sure what is causing it. All I know is that I get big red splotches on my arms and hands, but when I take a Benedryl it goes away. I think it may be some of the toxic sludge I deal with at work. I’m pretty sure that if I jumped into our pond, I would come out looking like the bad guy in Robocop who gets doused with a tank full of liquid, conveniently labeled “Toxic Waste.”

Speaking of Robocop (for the 3rd time). Clarence Boddicker, played by Kurtwood smith, is the least convincing bad guy in all of action moviedom. He’s scrawny but he’s playing a tough guy. He looks like a computer programmer, but he is supposed to be a thug. Bad Bad Bad casting. He does however say “Bitches Leave,” to some coke whore models before tossing a grenade at some unlucky (but very coked up) business executive. They promptly obey which makes the scene that much more entertaining. Also, I’m not sure that many people know this, I certainly didn’t, but Robocop was actually nominated for two Oscars. Way to go academy, for recognizing the greatness of thought provoking pieces of art like Robocop.

Where are our generation's Clockwork Oranges, or Godfathers, or Graduates, or Citizen Canes? We don't even have any Robocops, or Rockys, or Rambos. We have washed up versions of them, sure but nothing that has the same sort of impact. We have been reduced to recycling tired old plot lines or pumping out thoughtless inanities that some dumb studio exec thinks will make money. I suppose the answer is that those types of movies do make money. Sure there are great small budget Indie movies, but I want Star Wars, or Indiana Jones. They are giving us Hancock, and Wanted. The only great movie I’ve seen in the theaters in the last YEAR was Wall E. Which is an incredible movie by the way. Way to go Pixar! 8 out of nine, if only you wouldn’t have made Cars. Actually, now that I think about it, Iron Man was really good. There's another. Wall E and Iron Man. I'm pretty excited for the new Batman too. I officially retract my cynical pessimistic screed on the movie industry, sort of. Comic book movies are thriving and are good just not great, no one will look back and remember the first time they saw Spiderman. It was good, just not spectacular which is what we need.

Well, I guess that about does it for this one. I’m starting to wonder why I’m posting these kinds of things, it seems a bit arrogant for some reason. Who really cares about the day to day dealings of a twenty year old water plant working college drop out who lives with his parents? Well, I suppose this is more for me than anyone else anyway.