I can hardly remember anything from my childhood. I’m not sure why. I’m pretty sure I’m not just repressing bad memories, I guess my memory is a little shaky, because life before middle school is really vague. Maybe I just don’t think about it enough. My brother remembers a lot. He talks about it all the time, he’ll say “Do you remember the time when we were living in Provo and you got your head stuck between the bars on the porch rail?” Maybe I am repressing memories, ha.
My mom told me a story on my birthday that really made me want to remember more about growing up. She told me that her and my dad heard me telling one of my friends that my dad could fix anything. She said that from that day on my dad really could fix anything. I guess I gave him something to live up to or something. It made me want to be back where my parents were everything, when they were these superhero figures that I trusted completely. I still love my parents, and trust them more than most people, but I miss the days before I realized that they were just people too. What I can remember of them anyway, ha.
I’m older than my mom was when she got married. That seems insane to me, I can’t even begin to imagine being married. I don’t know if I’ll ever be ready for it sometimes. I can hardly handle taking care of myself most days. It just makes me more aware that my parents are just regular people trying to make it like everyone else. If I had a kid to take care of, he or she would be a lot more screwed up at 20 than I am. Which is not much I hope ha.
Every night at work we listen to this really bizarre radio show called Coast To Coast with George Nori, its all about aliens, ghosts, conspiracy theories, etc. They talk about the oil crisis, and the end of the world pretty much every night, As insane as most of the people who run, and call in to talk on the show, it still makes me paranoid that the world is about to go up in smoke. What happens when Oil does run out? Things would change fundamentally. I have a solution. Everyone who wants to can come out into the woods with me to live in a cabin, and off the land, ha. It will be like “Walden” or “Hatchet,” except with more people, ha William Blake’s Commune in the woods.
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That's cool that you openly express your feelings about your parents, most people don't. So you got your head stuck in the rails. Something like that happened to me, but with old style hancuffs and no key, they had to saw through the handcuffs for almost a day, wasn't funny then, but really funny now.
The peak oil is very near, it use to be that only fringe society people were talking about it or in universities. But now, even oil companies are showing commercials about it, which was unthinkable just a few years ago. Some experts say we have already passed the peak, others say we are in the midst of it, while some say that it is few years to 10 years away. But all agree that the end is near, the question remains on how we as a hydro-carbon based society is going to deal with the problem, more wars, renewables, conservation, population reductions (which could include large scale war). But the main solution, in my opinion, is that we need to start looking at ourselves, the way we eat, get around, our conveniences, our daily routine, our expectations of our society/children, what matters most to us as a living being, which is definitely not money or tangible wealth. As for myself, i've been learning how to grow organically, small at first then on a scale to match several people's yearly dietary needs. All with very little use of petrol and a lot of hand pulling weeds. I did harvest some tasty garlic last year. I also know how to hunt, but I don't usually, cause I have reservations about shooting living creatures, but if I find myself hungry and skinny I'll rethink my position.
As for George, usually don't listen to him that much, although some of the topics are out there, even ones that are known proven to be hoaxes. I really like listening to the Joe Frank Show, only comes on KDUR here in Durango at 10pm on Sunday, you can also listen to it online too. It's more of a spoken word show / short skits, that are thought provoking rather than the usual sit a chat over the phone show.
All of this may come to an end come August or Sept. when the US and European Union flip the switch on the Large Hadron Collider in France that could cause a localized black hole that will engulf us all. I just hope I can see Radiohead in San Francisco before they run their "experiments".
For your paranoia: it's not paranoia if it is a real threat, a threat that other educated people see too. If I feel overwhelmed, I usually take some valium or oxycodone to help get through the day, just so I can think about workable solutions rather than end-of-the-world scenarios.
So have a great Sabbath and a good nigh at work Blake,
Peace + Respect
Matt
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